Even when fully committed to the caring role, carers of someone living with young-onset dementia often describe intense sadness, fear, or even flashes of anger or resentment. Some worry these feelings might spill over into harmful behaviour. If you feel overwhelmed, talk to your GP right away – they can help you access counselling and crisis supports.
Caring for a partner or parent with young-onset dementia can feel especially isolating. Many carers are raising children or supporting ageing parents at the same time, adding financial and emotional pressure. Children may be confused or anxious about changes they see in their parent. They might worry about the future, feel embarrassed around friends, or believe the dementia is somehow their fault.
Support for children and families is available. Dementia Australia and the Young Carers Network offer age-appropriate resources and programs for young people (see Sections 1.10 ‘Plan to get support for children’ and 5.5 ‘Types of services’ on this website). Schools can provide counselling or connect children to peer-support groups. Let teachers and trusted adults know what is happening so they can support the child’s wellbeing.
Carers, especially female spouses or partners, are at increased risk of depression. Some studies have found up to half of all women caring for a person with dementia may experience depression.
Symptoms of depression include low mood or feeling sad, constant worry or feeling stressed, feelings of guilt, crying more than usual, feeling tired a lot, having trouble sleeping (either falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up too early), and loss of interest in things you used to enjoy. Feelings such as being ‘trapped’ in the carer role, or not being able to provide adequate support, may place carers at increased risk of depression. Some people also talk about feeling responsible for the diagnosis, that they should have changed things or made different choices.
Depression is not a sign of weakness or a type of personal shortcoming. It is an actual health condition that can and should be treated. For help with depression and/or anxiety:
- Call Dementia Australia Helpline on 1800 100 500. The free counsellors will listen and help you make sense of your feelings about dementia.
- Talk to your GP about how you are feeling. Your GP can help you develop a mental health plan. This plan can assist with counselling and psychotherapy such as cognitive behaviour therapy, which is a ‘talking therapy’ for depression, usually delivered by a psychologist.
- Talk to a psychologist, if you can afford to pay privately or if you have private health insurance. Try to find a psychologist who has dementia experience.
- Medications can also help with depression and anxiety. Discuss options with your GP.
- Beyond Blue has useful resources and a 24/7 helpline (1300 22 4636) for anyone experiencing depression or anxiety.
- Carer Gateway offers emotional and practical services for carers.
Call the National Dementia Helpline 1800 100 500
The free counsellors at Dementia Australia will listen and help you make sense about your feelings about dementia.
Talk to your doctor
Talk to your doctor about how you are feeling and ask for a mental health plan to get subsidised visits to a psychologist or counsellor. You can also ask your doctor whether medications might help you.
Photo: Nubelson Fernandes via Unsplash.
